Here we are again

[shyrstyne.livejournal.com]

The bunnies have slowed to a crawl, so it's been a while. In my defense, RL has been kicking me into next week and back. Silly life.

So- have another 25.


1. ?: So it's like the noodle incident of the universe?
Primus: *quietly looks up the reference* Something like that.

2. ?: Space <i>must</i> have an end. There is no possible way it could go on forever!
Primus: Sure it can.
?: How?
Primus: Some of the other planets are claustrophobic.

3. Many mechs on Cybertron who participated in the guerrilla warfare that was waged there changed their bodies to best fit their roles. These bodies were slim, efficient, and maneuverable- much like femme bodies, though most didn't go that far, preferring to still keep more weapons and armour on them then was strictly needed. Some mechs, however, did go for full femme bodies. There is nothing wrong with this on Cybertron- the mechs in question have a hard time understanding why humans are so consistently confused by them.

Human: So you're a femme… but actually mech- yet that does not in any way translate to being a transvestite?

Mech: … I think that's as close as you're going to get.

4. Elita-1 and Ultra Magnus are the same person.
   
    4a. Does Optimus know?

5. Starscream comes to his senses (or perhaps he always had them). But he still refuses to reconnect with Skyfire.

    "You don't get it at all! I've committed <i>genocide.</i> You cannot possibly absolve me of that."

6. Starscream: I know it probably doesn't mean much coming from me, but... I'm sorry. I'm sorry all this had to happen to you.

Skyfire: I know. And for what it's worth, I think the other you is sorry too- he just doesn't know how to say it any more.

(there was more to this- something about timetravel and changing time while the present changes only slightly but it's  slipped my mind now…)

7. (ripped and paraphrased from Red vs. Blue)

Starscream: Skyfire, it's me, Starscream. I've come to rescue you!

Skyfire: You're kind of the wrong model to be Starscream.

Starscream: What? Oh, right. *unpossess's con* There's not much time to explain, so I'm just gonna give you the summary here. I'm a spirit now, and I'm trapped in the physical world. I possessed this random Decepticon so I could sneak into their base and rescue you while the Autobots I manipulated run around in the middle of the canyon getting shot at, painted in black armor as a distraction.

Skyfire: ... Okay.

Starscream: What? Just 'okay'? You're not surprised by any of this?

Skyfire: No, it pretty much makes sense.

Starscream: Not even the whole "Screamer is a ghost' thing? That didn't do anything for you?

Skyfire: I can see right through you. It's pretty obvious.

Starscream: ... *shrugs* Alright. Let me just just hop back in this guy and we'll blow this joint.

    7a. Or, for extra crack, we can switch characters, and add in these lines-

    Skyfire: 'okay?' Just 'okay'?! *sigh* Nothing frazzles you, does it?

    Starscream: It's an ability I'm quite fond of.

8. Black+white=gray. Prowl+Jazz=Megatron.

    8a. And what happens when Bluestreak finds out his elder brother is a megalomaniac?

9. ?: One does not get to be an old mech in a long war without being tougher 'n nails, reflexes like you wouldn't beleive and a processor speed to make even the smartest bots envious. Mechs like that are far and few between- I've had the honour of knowing one or two.

Hot Rod: But.. Kup? Seriously? He's just that old guy who talks a lot. Sure, he can hold his own, but he's not anything spectacular.

?: ...You've never seen Kup in action, have you?

10. Kup tells stories about places and battles long passed. Everyone knows this. What they don't know is just how much Kup has edited what he himself did in those stories.

(both of the above are basically just an excuse to see Kup doing crazy awesome things.)

11. Perceptor: We may both be scientists but I at least have the decency, integrity and the morality to treat my specimens as real, living beings, and allow them their freedom as such. You possess no such traits, and so your experiments are confined to your lab and dwell in a black land of suffering and death- and limiting the very knowledge you seek to acquire.

    11a. (crack) And that, Shockwave, is why you have no friends.

12. Hound and Mirage go on Safari. Hound has the time of his life. Mirage... does not. (Musical inspiration: Fun and Mini Games from the Beyond Good and Evil OST. Light, wacky, fast paced, and tinged with just a hint of WtF-ery.)

    12a. "Hound, I do a lot of things for you, just as you do for me, but I draw the line at.. at this."

        "Soooo.... You're not going to find out what it's like to be a hippopotamus with me?"

13.    "It's odd."

    "What is?"

    "All the couples on the Ark- for every single pair, at least one of them is certifiably crazy. Prowl and Jazz, Inferno and Red Alert, Bluestreak and Sunstreaker, Skyfire and Starscream-"

    "I'm not sure they count, Skyfire wasn't part of the original crew and Screamer's a Con."

    "They were both here before us and I have yet to hear Skyfire deny it. But do you see? One of each pair is nutsoid. Around the bend, lost a few marbles and popped a few loose screws. I can't help but wonder why."

    Pause

    "Clearly you haven't been here long."

    "Huh?"

    "Kid, they're all crazy- some of them just in their own... special way."

14. Perceptor and Brawn engage in a philosophical debate.

15. A group of bots are holed up in a downed ship. There are swarms of sharkticons outside, waiting for the slightest opportunity to devour those within. Unable to get away due to the inoperable ship, they set down to wait until rescue arrives. Some of them were injured from the crash, making the others reluctant to chance fighting their way out.

One bot wonders just how they get into these messes.

There is silence until Sideswipe, who was unlucky enough to be caught under an unstable section of the ship and is buried up to his waist in sheet metal, has an epiphany.

"Slag. I think this is my fault."

"And how did you manage this, then?"

Sideswipe then outlines a long, convoluted series of events leading up to the present that are nonetheless the direct result of something he did. The rest of the far too small crew is less than impressed.

"All in favour of throwing the idiot to the sharkticons?"

(bonus points if the catalyst event in question is not a prank)

16. After so many millennia in the pursuit of knowledge, Perceptor has encountered a problem.

He's learned everything there is to know.

Now his comrades must deal with their resident scientist as he rapidly falls into insanity.

17. G1 Starscream meets a Shattered Glass/Mirrorverse style Skyfire.

(This has the potential to become an incredibly terrifying piece of work if they hit it off like my brain thinks they do)

18. Or this could go fluff If we went G1 Skyfire and SG Starscream.

(In theory- I actually have yet to acquire Shattered Glass, despite all attempts at rectifying that, unfortunately)

19. Human: That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard. How can you just believe him like that?

Bot: *shrugs* If Percy says there's ghosts, there's ghosts. We know him well enough to know that he would never bring it up if he didn't have solid, definite proof first.

Human: But ghosts don't exist!

Percy: Just because your comparatively primitive equipment is incapable of detecting and processing the necessary data does not mean my own is susceptible to the same fallacies.

20. 09'Movie!verse Sideswipe does not have a brother. In the other verses, his spark split at creation, creating two separate bots. Movie Sideswipe is the result of his spark not splitting. (because he was showy, egotistical, lively, pretty cool, damn good looking and if one has read some of the comics, a complete and utter bastard only just realizing that life has value)

21. Prowl's not Praxian. Jazz is.

22.  (TFxEnchanted Forest Chronicle's crossover. Post book 2)

"Machines? What's this I hear about giant machines?"

"Ah- Cimorene. I'm not entirely sure. The forest isn't sure what to make of them and I've had flustered elves coming through my office all day with one complaint or another- most of them related to these… whatever they are. I was just about to check it out for myself."

"Alone? I thought we talked about this. We don't know what these beings can do."

"I don't think they're a threat or the forest would be throwing fits. From what the elves have told me, I think they're just lost."

"I'll come with you, just in case."

"Cimorene..."

"Mendanbar. If they are just lost, I have a better chance of directing them to where they want to go- you still aren't very good with anything outside the forest."

"…"

"And if things do go downhill, it's better to have an extra pair of capable hands around. Or would you rather take Wilson?"

"… *sigh* Point. Shall we go then?"

"Whenever you're ready."

…

"My, the elves weren't kidding."

"They do look rather lost, don't they?"

"… One's missing. The elves said there was six."

"Probably got separated from them."

"And then of course he would never be able to navigate the forest to find them again. We'll probably have to go find him… her… it later, regardless of how this goes."

"Indeed. Shall we go say hello?"

"I suppose. It would only be polite."

23. There's a legend amongst the Transformers that their deity, Primus, may occasionally take on a form nearly identical to that of his creations. Unlike many myths, this one is true- but it's not who you would think. It's not Optimus Prime. It's not Ultra Magnus. It's not even Perceptor.

It's Bumblebee.

    23a. Or, if one wanted something a little different- Gears
    23b. Kup.
    23c. Beachcomber
    23d. Seaspray.

24. (may be joined with the above, if one felt like doing it that way) Let's say Sunstreaker, or someone with a similar temperament and hang-ups, was a fervent Primus worshiper. What happens when his deity assumes the form of a minibot- something every bot knows he despises?

    23a. Alternatively- Seekers and a Groundpounder.
    23b. OR (and I feel incredibly mean with this one) Bluestreak and a Con Seeker.

25. Prowl: You… forgot. You forgot you had an interdimensional portal in the far corner of your lab.

Wheeljack: Er, yeah. Oh come on Prowl, it wasn't even working when I put it back there. I forgot about it after that skirmish up in the arctic so I never finished it. I didn't think just leaving it there would do any harm- After all, I didn't expect anybody to even find it in that mess, let alone somehow get it to work long enough to get sucked into it.

Prowl:… Clearly you have underestimated the powers of idle curiosity and karma.