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[lapinporokoira.livejournal.com]

I want to reply to some posts but the bunnies keep biting me!

1. (Inspired by a Bunny which I can't remember by whom now.

He was a Queen amongst the *enter faction here* Well protected and venerated. What made him special was his function. In a time of war and constant losses reproduction was the most highly valued skill. Unfortunately it came with an incredible cost. He was a slave to his build. A brood mare.

They always needed warriors to replace the fallen so he was always called to perform his duty to the war and their race. He had no choice. They took him whether he wanted to or not. Forced a bond, forced him to breed over and over again. Worse, due to the losses he ended up being bred back to his own children, Grandchildren. There were less and less unrelated mechs to mate with. Nothing was taboo as long as the race continued to survive.

So Queen he may be; but never allowed directly onto the battlefield: Feeling the keen loss as his children died over and over again: Forced to bond: Having to endure the taboo’s of incest…

(And nope! Not allowed Perceptor! Think of someone else. I dare you. ^_^ )

 

Example:

A. The Drones were his guardians, his servants, his jailors. He could try and escape but for what use? He would be hunted down and lose what little freedoms he had gained. Loyalty and Capitulation was the only way to avoid being imprisoned even further.

So outwardly he was loyal to the cause, he lay with who he was told to, prostate. For although he despised the act with every fibre of his being now he would just let them do what was needed. And they came regularly. Sometimes in ones or twos, sometimes in packs. He was capable of holding multiple Sparks so the numbers made no difference. But many sparks meant greater pain. He hid that too. It was not the Decepticon way to show pain.

When they paid their ‘respects’ he was left to build the suitable containments for the sparks to grow faster. They dotted the lab like tombs. Energy pumping through them, so that he had time to order the drones to build appropriate bodies. Battle-hardened bodies. Everything they needed to know programmed into it. Little time was wasted on slow training, bonding of a parent to his child. War was fast paced, no time for frivolity.

A video screen flickered to life.

Megatron: Shockwave!
Shockwave: Yes, Lord Megatron?
Megatron: The Stunticons are incoming. I expect good results this time.
Shockwave: As you command.

On the outside, he was calm, analytical, logical; but inside he was screaming.

 

2. Flighty describes well those with the natural grace of a flying alt mode.
Delicate circuitry, highly strung personalities that need special handling, the mobbing mentality during a fight and in some case a love of their own voices.
It makes them ‘difficult’ to handle.


A. Flyers are more prone to injuries and require a more delicate hand for fixing. The Decepticon’s medic lacks such a skill so the flyers have learnt to fix each other. This has also developed a case of Iatrophobia amongst them.
Iatrophobia: An abnormal or irrational fear of doctors or going to the Doctor.

B. Due to their rather high-strung personality, Flyers can be glitchy.
They find themselves more comfortable around their own type and can react rather quickly (and negatively) to unexpected stimuli. Being grounded gives them a nervous air about them.
A worse punishment cannot be imagined. So for flyers, ‘grounded’ has a double meaning.

B2. Funny thing is, for Silverbolt he doesn’t mind being grounded as such. YET he is the least likely to be punished so. The other Aerialbots are jealous. It isn’t fair!
Silverbolt: Want my fear of heights instead?
Aerialbots: O_O nooooooo!

B3. Fear of the fear of heights.

 
C. Flyers due to that airy personality are the most likely to develop glitches and phobia’s of any Cybertronian’s.

C2. Glitches in ground based mechs are due to an alteration of their original flyer programming.

C3. In Triple changers the chance of developing a glitch are minor in comparison. In fact the hybridisation seems to increase resilience.

 

D. Looking up Birds of Prey I found that quite a few can see in the ultraviolet range.
Seekers have a unique sight in comparison to other Cybertronian’s. They have heightened awareness and can track the minutest traces of Energon.

E. What if those flyers were Birds, what species would each be?

Starscream, Thundercracker, Skywarp: Wedge-Tailed Eagle’s?
Coneheads: Caracara’s?
Silverbolt: Stork?
Skydive: Greater Sooty Owl?
Airraid: Laughing Falcon?
Fireflight: Common Kestrel?
Slingshot: Egyptian Vulture?

F. Skyfire had faint traces of memory of his time in his Ice tomb. It kept him from recharge sometimes. And as a flyer enclosed spaces are bad. So bad in fact he has developed a severe chronic Claustrophobia, more so then for your average flyer.

 

4. I would Lie to you, and that’s the Truth.

 
5. AU. Cops & Robbers. The Autobots are a crack police force against the terrorist faction of Decepticons.

6. Perceptor, you are the Puppet. (for Kirin)

7. Transformer <strike>Muppet</strike>Babies

Starring!:

Primus as Nanny
Megatron as Meggit or Meggy (Kermit)
Starscream as Mr Screamy (Miss Piggy)
Sideswipe as Sideskeet (Skeeter)
Sunstreaker as Sunscoot (Scooter)
Thundercracker as Thunzo (Gonzo)
Skywarp as Skuzzie (Fozzie)
Jazz as Rowzz (Rowlf)
Grimlock as Grinimal (Animal)
---
Unicron as the child catcher… Not really. ^^

 

8.On a billboard of the Ark’s rec-room.

Memo:

1. No teasing the Dinobots.
2. Wheeljack is NOT allowed to watch human television shows.
3. Trouble-maker-Perceptor must have someone with him at all times.
4. Twins; no picking on the Mini-bots.
5. Twins; no picking on Ratchet
6. Twins; no picking on Red Alert
7. Twins; pranks are only allowed on April fool’s and must not be a danger to anyone’s health.
8. Twins; No corrupting Bluestreak.
9. Twins; no altering these rules.
10. Twins just don’t do anything!
11. Bluestreak stay away from the Twins.
12. Blurr NO speeding in the corridors!
13. Makes sure alarms work around Wheeljack’s lab.
14. Whose been at my stash? - Jazz
15. No altering the rules… EVERYBODY!
16. Ok. Sludge will not.
17. No shooting weapons indoors. Ironhide/Cliffjumper take heed of this one.
18. Rec-room does not mean WREAK! Room.
19. If you are reading this Decepticon invader, there is a camera right behind you and I am waving.. my hand over the internal security system activation button.
20. Red Alert suxs!!! Lol
21. I refer back to numbers 9. And 6.
22. Bunnies are to be exterminated on sight.
23. Skywarp woz ere.
24. ALL camera’s must be checked and double-checked.
25. Spike no making out with your girlfriend in/around Bumblebee
26. Spike do NOT bring in strange and out of place technical equipment. ESPECIALLY tape decks.
13. Unlucky for some.
14. Keep the Ark tidy.
27. How many times must it be said? D.O N.O.T M.E.S.S W.I.T.H T.H.I.S!
28. Red Alert must report to the medbay for his daily dose of sedatives. Volunteers required. (Not you Twins!) - Ratchet
29. I am better looking then Sunstreaker - THE Glorious and sexy Tracks
30. This list will self destruct in ten seconds…..

 
9. Bonding was going to be awkward, difficult, strange. They never looked at the physical differences before. It never mattered, they just simply loved each other.
Now how the hell was Hook going to make sweet, sweet love to Devastator?!

 
10. He was dying and he had to choose. Disband himself from the gestalt to stop the virus spreading to the others, or choose to remain and combine their form and spread the virus to all of them?

 
11. ??: Wheeljack stop playing with yourself.

 
12. Every Decepticon recruit has an initiation mission: Make Perceptor angry.
Failure means deactivation.
Success probably means deactivation too. ^^

 
13. Art: Perceptor, with a look of fear on his face, holding a sign saying HELP ME! .

 
14. The Dinobots are told bonding is the celebration of a relationship.
Whoever told them that is dead metal after the nth couple endures the humiliation of a cheerleading squad of Dinobots interrupting their ‘moment‘.

 
15. Anyone seen Robot Wars UK?
Well what if the House Robots were Cybertronian’s?

 

16. The Stunticons kidnap Huffer!
And he ends up as part of their crew.

 
17. The rich of Cybertron let the lesser bots fight in the war. Mirage defies his parents and his position and signs up.

 
18. ” If you love me then you would die for me.”

 
19. Song Lyrics:
If you leave me now, you’ll take away the very heart of me.
 

20. Tracks is a flying car. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a Flying car…
What if Tracks was Chitty?
(Vaguely think it’s been done.)

21.
??: Can I…
?: NO!
??: Why no…
?: NO!
??: I didn’t even get to fini…
?: I said No!
??: But…
?: Whatever it is the answer will still be No.

 
22. The Autobots knew something was wrong when the Decepticons invited them for tea and biscuits and came to a battle wearing dresses and Bonnets and talked in olde English and insisted on a lovely picnic instead of all that icky fighting.

 
23. He was brought back from the dead, but something came with him.

 
24. Bluestreak stops talking.
He’s discovered zen.

 
25. Soundwave is actually an Autobot and is Megatron’s personal slave.

A. Soundwave CHOSE to continue serving his master Megatron over joining the rest of the Autobots.

 
23. There are quite a few stories where a Decepticon seeks refuge with the Autobots. (Usually Starscream *yawn*)
So lets reverse the trend shall we?
(And damn you all my first thought was Perceptor!)

 
24. Art: Perceptor and a Bunny in fighting gloves facing off against each other.
Additional: Perceptor fangirls cheering on both competitor’s in the background.

 
25. In the Discworld books there is a character called Bloody Stupid Johnson…
For those who recognise the name you should know where I’m going with this ^^
*coughWheeljackcough*

 
26. Perceptor: How many times must I say that my name is not Alice?

 
27. Inferno is Red Alert’s Councellor.

 
28. Inferno is Red Alert’s Foster Father.

 
29. Movieverse:
Ron: Those blasted Insurance people.
Sam: Dad what did they say?
Ron: That car of yours. They refuse to insure it. Said some such thing about it being extremely high risk. Wouldn’t say why though.
Sam: Umm, err, really?

 
30. Star Trek crossover.
A transporter malfunction sends a team from the Enterprise to a rather unexpected place.

A.  Captain Kirk tries to outwoo Tracks for the ladies.
Scotty shares his engineering expertise with Perceptor and Wheeljack.
Spock and Prowl have a logic competition.
Sideswipe tries to get Chekov to constantly say, ‘Nuclear wessels’.
Uhuru grumbles with Red Alert about not having their work appreciated.
Sulu is accosted by the mini-bots to learn martial arts.

 
31. Movieverse:
Ron and Judy get drunk and want to try and relive their teenage days.
Unfortunately making out inside Sam’s car is just one thing that want to try.
Bumblebee: They, they copulated in my backseat!
Sam: Who did?
Bumblebee: Your parents!
Sam: …… O_O
Bumblebee: I feel so violated.
Sam: … That image just violated me too.

 
32. Movieverse:
Miles is jealous of Sam and his new hot ride. Surely Sam wouldn’t mind if he ‘borrowed’ it?

 
33. Sweet Transvestite, Transexual Transformer.

 
34. On Cybertron there was no such things as gender. In FACT the femmes are not even Cybertronian. They are actually from another planet and another race entirely.

 
35. Primus gifted Mechs with Femme’s. Only the Femme’s didn’t appreciate being a gift as subservient whore’s.

36. Primus and Unicron were fighting over a female. This one just happened to be called Gaia.

 
37. Sunstreaker and Tracks are the vain ones for a reason.

A. They are considered handsome now but once upon a time they were considered beautiful. And on Cybertron beauty is seen as a commodity for sale.

B. They were born femme’s but hated it. The curvy looks, the attitude from others and their expected roles as Femme‘s. So at some point they had mech bodies built and their world changed. Now they love their new look because of those changes.

 
38. Why are Mini-Bots small?
Because they were originally organic’s who upgraded into a Cybertron mold.

 

39. Pervert a Transformer!

 
40. The Bunnies want Perceptor. No-one believes him though.
?: Fluffy Bunnies want to get you? Honestly Perceptor I wouldn’t expect this from you.
Perceptor: But they really are after ME!

41.  Wheeljack: Waaaah! He broke it! He broke my invention! He’s a meany, he should be punished!
*Bawls his optics out whilst Perceptor smirks.*

 
42. Errrrrrr. Lalalalala I’m insane lalalala.
In Mario Bros land they travel to the Mushroom kingdom through the plumbing…
Pipes finds it hard to explain when two little Italian plumbers with moustache’s come out of him.